Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I want her autograph on my taint
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
