come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
