he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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