the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize