I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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