Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
