I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
