Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
