so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize