That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
