I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
