This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
