No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
