Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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