Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching