She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.