I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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