What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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