i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
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My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
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I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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