She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
