haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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