I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
