why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
