last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
