I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
