Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
there's paper in my vomit.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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