k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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