Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
