I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
