party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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