btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
