Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
