So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
