So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
