You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
