You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's blow job season.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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