You kept calling me your small dog last night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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