we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
