What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
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she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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