god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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