the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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