Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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