Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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