And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
