So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We left the knife in your bed.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
