I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
