going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
