I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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