It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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