His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
