i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
