just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize