Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
