I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize